Living The Downton Abbey Life

As we are all caught up in this seemingly unattainable life at Downton Abbey, I felt it was time to let you in on a little secret…
I live the Downton Abbey life….
and you can too!

Now throughout this lecture, you’ll see some hints along the way…pay attention and take notes if necessary.

Stop and think, what is it that they really have that we do not? 
Or at least that we cannot acquire…
aside from a gazillion dollars that is.
One does not have to have a gazillion dollars  pounds for one to live gracefully, does one?

Hint: use the word “one” when ever speaking of oneself…it’s almost as good as the royal “we”

One must attempt to equip one’s household with the appropriate necessities one might need in going about one’s daily life. 
(see how those ‘one’s’ work?)

One needs family portraits….
If one has no family portraits, one should find an excellent Goodwill
portrait artist and commission one….

Another important item…. urns. 
The urns may be of various sizes and do not necessarily need to have anything inside them. 
However, it is vulgar to decorate with urns that contain members of the family.

One may however, find it perfectly acceptable to have 
portraits  of dead people 
ancestors.


Another important part of creating this look is to have multiple chandeliers. If one cannot afford them immediately, do not despair. 
Whilst you are attaining the necessary items, simply entertain elsewhere.

Hint: Use “whilst” instead of “while”. 
Compare these sentences and you will see for yourself which is correct.

1. Whilst at home for the afternoon, a gently bred lady might entertain herself with embroidery or watercolors.
2. While yer waiting for the school bus to come, crack open a can of beer.

Do you see the difference? It’s quite obvious.

Let us return to the chandeliers…..

If one is able to acquire help, interview extensively so one does not mistakenly employ prostitutes, criminals, or worse….
the upwardly mobile who may marry one’s daughter.

I myself have two maids who seem to be more interested in members of the opposite sex and learning the latest vulgar dance then they are in cooking, cleaning, polishing, serving, or anything else.

Try and avoid this unfortunate occurrence.

Silver is another important item one must have to live the Downton Abbey life.


Hint: If staff is limited and the silver cannot be maintained to the satisfaction of the lady of the house 
then always employ artistic whiles if photography is deemed necessary.


Stone fireplaces are quite nice and the larger the better. If one cannot obtain a large enough fireplace, simply ensure that only short people are photographed in front of the fireplace.

An abundance of fine china is called for and a proper service will encompass enough for service of twelve. 


Manners at table are a crucial part of not only living the Downton Abbey life…but enjoying the Downton Abbey life.
One may always dine alone if need be. 
It is quite peaceful.

Ironstone milk jugs and bowls are very necessary, 
primarily for use by the maids.
If the maids do not need access to the ironstone due to a poor work ethic,
it may be displayed attractively.




There now…..
One MUST rise above the past and attempt to live a gracious life.

I’ve left out so many things but this will provide a starting point for your journey toward…

Living The Downton Abbey Life


Comments

  1. Okay…I am now about to fall out of my chair laughing………….and I’m at WORK!!!! I just “linked in” to your blog, and you can bet your blimey stone that I will be back!
    You are an artist with words!!
    Blessings,
    J

  2. Absolutely BRILLIANT!

  3. I loved this! I’m addicted to Downton Abbey and so enjoyed your post today!

  4. Hilarious…

  5. I was chuckle all the way through this. I do have the English husband, will that do?!?

  6. Hilarious!!

  7. You have already taught me so much…a thousand thanks! The silver gets polished tomorrow, and used, even for just a.m. coffee and/or hot tea. Already have the urns and family photos. Don’t need to worry about interviewing, as I know the lady (!) quite well who does my cleaning and cooking. Diane Amick

  8. Well, Miss Flibbergibbet, thank you so much for the Downtown Abbey lifestyle lesson. I shall have the maid (that would be me) polish the silver in the morning, and I simply must get my groundskeeper (that would be my husband) get the garden in shape for our upcoming spring garden party. Now where did one leave all the ironstone one has been acquiring? One looks forward to future tutorials whilst passing the time waiting for spring.

  9. Hilarious, Lorraine! I love Downton Abbey and this just made my day! xo Kristin

  10. Love the Downton Abbey lifestyle lesson! (Especially the tip on having only short people photographed in front of the fireplace.) So funny!

  11. Oh goodness! I was laughing the whole time, but realized as I was reading I am definitely your daughter! I sat last night having my flower butter cookies ($1 discount food store) on my chipped china plate (Old Dollar tree find) and sipping my fine english tea (Celestial Seasons Sleepytime) out of my daughters fine bone china tea pot WHILST watching Gordon Ramsey make beef wellington! All the while folding coffee filters to make a beautiful and elegant wreath for the grand entry (The 3 square feet I call an entry). Love you!

  12. I do not know how I missed this! It is hilarious! If I do a “stupid” one, can I link back to you?

  13. I’m going to have to start calling you Downton Lorraine. Clever post my dear. I finally watched my first DA episode last weekend. We watched the very first episode. I’ve got to find some time to catch up!

  14. Now that I’m watching, I understand just how hilarious this post is!!!

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