As we are all caught up in this seemingly unattainable life at Downton Abbey, I felt it was time to let you in on a little secret…
I live the Downton Abbey life….
and you can too!
Now throughout this lecture, you’ll see some hints along the way…pay attention and take notes if necessary.
Stop and think, what is it that they really have that we do not?
Or at least that we cannot acquire…
aside from a gazillion dollars that is.
One does not have to have a gazillion
dollars pounds for one to live gracefully, does one?
Hint: use the word “one” when ever speaking of oneself…it’s almost as good as the royal “we”
One must attempt to equip one’s household with the appropriate necessities one might need in going about one’s daily life.
(see how those ‘one’s’ work?)
One needs family portraits….
If one has no family portraits, one should find an excellent
portrait artist and commission one….
Another important item…. urns.
The urns may be of various sizes and do not necessarily need to have anything inside them.
However, it is vulgar to decorate with urns that contain members of the family.
One may however, find it perfectly acceptable to have
Another important part of creating this look is to have multiple chandeliers. If one cannot afford them immediately, do not despair.
Whilst you are attaining the necessary items, simply entertain elsewhere.
Hint: Use “whilst” instead of “while”.
Compare these sentences and you will see for yourself which is correct.
1. Whilst at home for the afternoon, a gently bred lady might entertain herself with embroidery or watercolors.
2. While yer waiting for the school bus to come, crack open a can of beer.
Do you see the difference? It’s quite obvious.
Let us return to the chandeliers…..
If one is able to acquire help, interview extensively so one does not mistakenly employ prostitutes, criminals, or worse….
the upwardly mobile who may marry one’s daughter.
I myself have two maids who seem to be more interested in members of the opposite sex and learning the latest vulgar dance then they are in cooking, cleaning, polishing, serving, or anything else.
Try and avoid this unfortunate occurrence.
Silver is another important item one must have to live the Downton Abbey life.
Hint: If staff is limited and the silver cannot be maintained to the satisfaction of the lady of the house
then always employ artistic whiles if photography is deemed necessary.
Stone fireplaces are quite nice and the larger the better. If one cannot obtain a large enough fireplace, simply ensure that only short people are photographed in front of the fireplace.
An abundance of fine china is called for and a proper service will encompass enough for service of twelve.
Manners at table are a crucial part of not only living the Downton Abbey life…but enjoying the Downton Abbey life.
One may always dine alone if need be.
It is quite peaceful.
Ironstone milk jugs and bowls are very necessary,
primarily for use by the maids.
If the maids do not need access to the ironstone due to a poor work ethic,
it may be displayed attractively.
One MUST rise above the past and attempt to live a gracious life.
I’ve left out so many things but this will provide a starting point for your journey toward…
Living The Downton Abbey Life