AMAZING SECRETS REVEALED!!!

When some friends of mine let me know about a little party they were having I was ALL in…
Party Girl that I am
However, when I found out the theme was
JUNK
I was at a loss…..

I wasn’t even sure I could GO to their little shindig.

I decided to make an effort….
after all…they ARE friends…
even if I’ve never…. 
seen them in person
 met their families
 eaten with them
 shopped with them
  been invited to one of their
 weddings
 birthdays
 bar mitzvahs
 christenings
 Christmas dinners
or
 garden parties…..
BUT FRIENDS nonetheless!!!

I looked around to see what I could find…..

Initially, I checked the Treasure Room
we just call it TR for short……

Nothing…..
all I could find were some things that are scheduled to be featured on Antiques Roadshow or profiled by Ki Nasser…..
she hasn’t returned my phone calls yet 
but she is one SUPER busy woman so I’m not hurt…..


For a moment,I thought maybe I had found something here…..

But, I quickly realized that this was found at an archeological dig I participated in recently at Goodwill  in one of those interesting places I visit during my eternal quest for beautiful and life altering discoveries…..
this could never be considered junk…..

I moved to the other end of the TR
still nothing…..
some of these things are unidentifiable in their early stages, I know. 
It takes training to recognize greatness…

I realized there was just NOTHING here for this post and decided to leave the 
TR (Treasure Room)
 and venture to the 
Patina Development Center….
  also known as the PDC


I’m sorry about all the acronyms but it is just SO much easier when I am speaking to the hordes none/zero/nada of sponsors always wanting me to discuss a possible book deal, magazine article or even a MOVIE DEAL!!! 
Yes….you heard me….
some Hollywood producer had called me about a MOVIE DEAL……
I think……
his accent was pretty bad and he sounded like the guy I talked to about my steam cleaner that wasn’t working….
but I digress…
the line crackled a lot but he explained that he was using a burn phone because of all the paparazzi that WOULD NOT leave him alone…..poor man…

we’re still in negotiations……

he told me he was going to be out of touch for about 5-10 but he’ll call me when he gets out gets back.



Anyway…on to the PDC……

I don’t want to bore you with all the technical details but you can see the various stages of PD in the picture above…

and also here below….

You’ll notice on the left that this item is in the early stages…..
like a wine before it’s time…….
On the right is an item that is developing nicely….

Patina Development (PD)
 is a careful and beautiful process that requires attention and close monitoring.
I like to think of it like winemaking….

something that you can build your whole life around….

something wonderful and mysterious….

something that makes LOTS of people happy…(burp)

Just as a vintner tastes his wine regularly….I must go around and monitor various stages of PD….waiting for just the right moment to move it to…..
yes, 
the Treasure Room (TR)

This is an arduous and time consuming job….I have yet to find anyone here who can understand these development stages……obviously, more education is needed.

For example, here is an item that is in the VERY early stages of PD

But, I seem to be the only one who can identify and evaluate this item appropriately…so ALL the work lies on my shoulders…

it’s been said…..

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

so true….sigh…

Here is a closer look…you can see clearly….no PD yet. 
It needs to age a few years a bit longer…

I decided there was just NOTHING here that would qualify as JUNK
so I went back inside…..
passing one of my favorite urns along the way….

I gave up….but I still needed to post something….
a promise is a promise after all….
so, this post has really been about 
revealing all my secrets!

I never intended to do THAT but, once you saw the 
Treasure Room (TR) 
and learned about the 
Patina Development center (PDC)…
what could I do? 
The damage is done now……

But…you’ll notice I put my NAME on every one of those pictures 
and if I see ANY of these secrets out there on your websites……

Well….let’s just say my husband will be so friggin happy mad he just might empty the Treasure Room (TR)…
close the Patina Development Center(PDC)
and relocate them to YOUR HOUSE!!!

He KNOWS how much this valuable crap/junk means to me 
and he will NOT allow anyone to upset me!!


I can always start my collection over……..

PS…I am now accepting suggestions  for the title of my upcoming
MOVIE DEAL
(submissions end in 8-10…my producer is going to be gone a bit longer than he thought)


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Comments

  1. Oh my gosh! I have spit my tea out more than once reading this! You are so funny! Treasure Room! I love it! I’m re-christening my craft room and calling it a Treasure room..I’ll have a party..I’ll make all of the decorations and of course, I’ll invite you! I didn’t even know I needed a PDC…until now! I’m so glad you didn’t have anything to share today!! Thanks for linking up as you are hysterical!

  2. I had to really search myself to come up with a post…love your patina development process…I think I’ll have to look into that a little bit more.

  3. My Horror Monster needs to meet your Treasure Room – they would be boon companions. Believe it or not i have one hundred of those chair foundations sitting in a box in my side yard rusting to the correct patina right this minute. They have been there since last summer. I see no junk – just buried treasure!

  4. How can I be laughing so loudly and oooouuuu and ahhhhhhh at the same time.. Love it all.. I do believe you could do a book of your antics. Who knows a movie deal may not be to far off…Thanks for the lighthearted spirit. Blessings!

  5. OK I’m rolling on the floor with this post – the treasure room – PD lmho
    ( although that’s some serious patina going on there !!! )
    My Daughter’s getting married in June – you’re officially invited friend lol
    Thanks for linking up!
    Hugs,
    Suzan

  6. LOL- I love it- I have been going around and visiting all the fun posts. You are a brave woman!!!! xo Diana

  7. This. Is. Hi. Lair. Eee. Us. We are sisters from another mother.

  8. LOL I love it!! Acronyms and all, perfect…and your PD centre is amazing…love the patinas!
    Debbie 🙂

  9. Too funny!! I think I need to show my hubby this post. Maybe he should get to know your hubby, they would have lots to “discuss” 😉

  10. Love this! I have loads of treasure in my garage. It wasn’t chosen for my post because I can’t get in there to take pictures. My less understanding husband is getting a skip 🙁

    Movie title….let me think about it! Love this post thanks for showing us the junk in your trunk!

  11. LOL ..I spit my tea out too !!
    you are too funny !!!

  12. Oh My Gosh, I am LOL with this one. Loved it!! Now I hope you get that movie deal when that guy gets out of the penn~ I mean~ back in town. He sounds like the one that called me. I see I am not the only one with a TR or a PDC located on the property. LOL

    You are so creative!!
    Happy Junkin!!
    Hugs, Celestina Marie

  13. Well, of course, great works of art aren’t completed in a day. Sometimes you have to have them close at hand so you can look at them every time you walk by and be inspired! Nothing sets off my kitchen better than a glavanized bucket rusting in vinegar in the sink. Oh, the aroma! Oh, the dishes that are piling up while the sink is busy creating rust!

  14. Can I steal, I mean borrow the expression treasure room. I love it. Your post made me laugh so much, I saw no junk in any of your pics either, you poor thing, you are too tidy. love love the post.
    hugs Tobey

  15. I’m renaming my “wall of crap” now. “Treasure Room” sounds so much nicer…. xo

  16. Great post! You had me laughing the whole way through. Good for early morning reading!!
    Mary Alice

  17. I. Love. You. Thanks for sharing! I look at blogs with perfect rooms, organization, projects completed, perfect children… and feel like a total failure with my junky garage, overstuffed shed, packed basement and what I call my crap room. I won’t even start a discussion on the kids/grown adults still living in my house. Thanks for letting me know I’m not really abnormal!!

  18. Funny! Love the PD room!! We are gonna have a ball at Haven!!

  19. You are fabulous
    Dido

  20. A Treasure Room, Patina Development Room AND antlers? I am so jealous.

  21. Hysterical. I am still laughing. Next time I get barked at for all my tin cans in the yard, I will tell my husband it’s the PD department!

  22. Junk rooms sound so much more sophisticated when you provide them names and acronyms!!! They look so much better, too…lol. Seriously, I think you have the prettiest junk I’ve seen, yet, patina and all!

  23. Haha, I love reading your posts. They remind me of Loralei & Rory on Gilmore Girls. I read it really fast because that’s how I imagine you saying it. Which sometimes makes it difficult to take it all in!! I’m so jealous that you have a TR! I wish I had a room to dedicate to that. Instead I stash things around the house hoping my hubby doesn’t notice quite how much I have!!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog! Don’t forget to enter the giveaway for the detergent ingredients! After all, it’s FREE! 🙂

  24. Too bad you don’t have any good junk. I really feel for ya! I wish I too could “not have any good junk” like that.
    Liz

  25. I had no idea just how funny you are. Yes I have a patina development going on here too! As I say, mine is the real deal, not the painted on rust, real rust that requires complete neglect!! Ha!

  26. Well aren’t you the creative genius with a patina development room and all! What on earth are you going to do with that air conditioner compressor looking thing? You’re pretty damn creative if you have ideas for what to do with that! Great post dear!

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