The Divorce Chair

If you’re a thrifter like I am, you know one problem is finding several of ANYTHING sometimes.
One thing I see often is single chairs.
This French chair was a loner…once part of a set but no more…
like in a divorce….he got the table, she got the armchair…..

Of course, that French chair was full of ornate carving and

just pretty 

Like those gals you bump into at the grocery…when you just ran down to get more milk to stop the screaming in the kitchen…..

that was YOUR screaming…

“What? We’re out of milk again? 
What are you people doing…mainlining?…..
Just sit there, I’ll be right back!” 

….and you jump in the car, hair smoothed down as much as possible, stringy bangs, your old Tshirt and the first shoes you could lay your feet on….pink gardening clogs with dried mud on them…..and 

there she is……

reaching for the organic milk (she feeds her children healthy food only) and says

 “Hi , how are you?”….

before you swing around in horror, you 

bite your lips together really hard 

because you read once that it will make the blood rush to them and turn them a bit more rosy as opposed to the pale, cracking, dry appearance they would have otherwise….

(just a secret beauty tip for you…you’ll thank me…)

….and you say 

“oh, Hi! I’m good…
just ran in to get some milk…
excuse my appearance….”

and give a little shrug and laugh as though saying…

“it doesn’t matter to me AT ALL that EVERY TIME I bump into you
 I look JUST like this” 

….because you want to give the impression that you are a 

modern woman 

who doesn’t give a 


about your appearance because you are focused on art and family and you are 
SO secure that you don’t need the frail trappings of this world 
to make you feel GOOD about yourself……

…… while at the same time curling your fingers around the handle of the milk jug so you can hide the cracked and paint filled cuticles because you notice immediately that she has a French manicure and even a pedicure ….

…. at that moment your deep faith takes over and you say

 “Thank you God for making me put my feet in these clogs 
on the way out………”

…and she says “Oh, I KNOW….I just came back from my morning run and  needed some milk too!”…and you see that she works out faithfully because you can actually visualize that she has a waistline and isn’t shaped similar to a column which is why you need to wear a baggy Tshirt…
….and so you say,

 “well, I’d better get going, 
the kids are waiting for some milk for their cereal! 
See you later…have a great day!” 
….because it’s VERY important to sound cheerful so she thinks….

“Boy, I wish I was so confident that I could go out in public looking like a total slob….sigh.” 

Those women keep me humble……

But, I can make pretty things….like this divorced chair…..

It was just a plain, brown, dining room chair.
No ornate carvings. Nothing special.

With a little love and some dressing up….it can be special….

It gives me hope…

Sharing with
From My Front Porch To Yours
No Minimalist Here
Brambleberry Cottage


  1. Oh, Lorraine, I just love this chair. Too cute with the pillow embellishment, and you know I love polka dots. Who isn’t happy when looking at polka dots? Yeah, you and I are a lot alike. Sometimes I have to check myself to make sure there is no paint on my clothes, elbows or knees. It really takes a lot of hard work to be the kind of people we are. I just don’t think the world knows how high maintenance we really are.

  2. The chair looks GREAT-You did a wonderful job. I laughed all the way through your post because I have been there and “caught” just like that- xo Diana

  3. We’ve all been there! This was so funny.
    Your chair is beyond adorable.

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  5. I don’t know what you are talking about?
    I have never done that.
    Except for those million times. LOL

    What a darling chair!!
    Now, come do mine 🙂

  6. Ha, ha, cute post and adorable chair.

  7. I’m sitting here biting my lips together….


  8. What a cute chair!
    I always wear sunglasses when I am out with no makeup on.I don’t know why LOL.I it’s not like I am hiding the fact that I don’t have makeup on.I guess it makes me feel a little invisible.

  9. You can tell a story so spot on, it’s hilarious! This happens to me all the time and it’s always the same person that I run into.
    As a matter of fact, my daughter has been known to spot her first now & come running to me to say, “so & so is here…do you look presentable or do you want to hide?” LOL
    Anyway, I absolutely adore that pretty chair. The polka dots & ruffle are singing my name!

  10. Love the chair redo, LOVE the color you chose. So pretty!!

  11. I LOVE THIS POST!!!…What is that term.?? Murphy’s Law?…When you look great and in your local grocery see no one, but the store clerks stocking shelves…then when you make a mad dash to the store just to grab that much needed item, not looking your best, you run into every person you know in the city!…Well the divorced chair is looking mighty fine and ready for a new beau…..

  12. BEEN THERE…haha! Great chair too 🙂 Laurel

  13. I love this story – I refuse to go to Kroger without my makeup on – ran into my boss once! The “divorce” chair is gorgeous! I found a harp back chair at a garage sale without a seat. Took it home and fixed her up – so cute!!!

  14. Those little polka dots are so dang cute! Great story. Because I don’t have children screaming for milk, but I am forced into situations like this occasionally – usually after I have put off going to the store for several days (because I don’t want to get dressed to go out) and I don’t have any way of finagling a meal out of what is in the house.

  15. This same exact thing happened to me the last time I was in Hobby Lobby. It sort of ruined my day even though I tried really hard to just let it go. You handled yourself much better than I. Morning run? haha.

  16. Your chair is so cute with the green polka dot skirted cushion!!!

    Oh, that is SO me! I really don’t want to take the time to pretty up when I’m on a roll and, of course, I will run into somebody I haven’t seen in 10 years who was just released from the beauty salon. It’s best not to look at yourself in the car mirror afterwords. It just makes it worse.

    Some women spend ALL their time making themselves look good. The rest of us are making the world a more beautiful place. :@

  17. You are such a hoot and I know exactly how you feel! I ran into an old neighbor who I had not seen in three years and of course it was the ONE day I told the boys lets just hop in the car and run to Lowes where they replied we haven’t even combed our hair mom which I reapplied who on earth would ever see us!;) Thanx for partying at my place!

  18. Beautiful chair! So delightful!


  19. Your magical makeover totally transformed this loner into a lovely lady. 😉

    Thanks for linking to Time Travel Thursday. Hope to see you each week.

    Liz @ The Brambleberry Cottage

  20. Looove the chair! We “DIYers” are very High Maintenance. I have to clean paint, stain, tile adhesive, grout, caulking, liquid nail, etc on a weekly basis from my body. If I make it out without paint in the front of my hair, I’m dolled up.

    You make beautiful things and You Are Beautiful – Naturally.

    Thanks for sharing the post. I actually have a dining room chair I need to redo and you’ve inspired me.

  21. Did the whole graphic of Fortnum and Mason London come from Graphics Fairy, I cannot locate it on her site, can you direct me?…tks, Ann

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